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As you know men and women are quite different, especially when it comes to what they find “hot” or a “turn on”…both in and out of bedroom.
When men think about doing something “hot” for a woman, it usually involves some form of manoeuvre to have sex.
Normally that is not where she wants, at least right away. There is a lot to explore.
She may even see your desire and excitement in your eyes.
But normally it is not enough to get her to let go fully and enjoy herself the way she would like to.
But do not despair, the tips and secrets revealed below come straight from real women who are eager to “help you to help her,” you will be able to give her pleasure and stand apart from other men.
So let us explore where most men go wrong, what they most often ignore so that you can really get her excited and ready to explode with ecstasy…
Explore her fingers
Marie, 28, admits that her fingers (not yours) can get her incredibly excited. But, not in the way you are imagining…
“Men normally ignore woman’s fingers,” she says. If she is lucky, a guy will stroke or caress her upper arms for a little bit and then quickly move on.
But almost no one, except for an older gentleman she briefly dated, ever looked at her fingers…let alone caress or kissed them.
Just like Marie, a lot of women complain about how often their fingers get ignored.
“Sometimes, when I drove and my lover was sitting in the passenger’s seat, he would take my hand and start to gently kiss of my fingers.
It send shivers through my body. I would find myself getting wet very quickly. Sometimes, we even had to pull over…
Here is how it is done…
Time needed: 30 minutes.
How to explore woman’s fingers and give pleasure, one hand at the time…
- Start with her hand
The next time you are about to have sex with her, take her hand and start to kiss the backs of her fingers with slow, soft, kisses.
- Explore her fingers
Keep it dry, you do not want much (or any) saliva at this stage. Open your lips slightly and gently explore her fingers, as if you were licking an envelope but without using any tongue.
- Connect the sensation
Give her knuckles some attention too, especially to the webbed areas, here you can use a little bit of tongue, just to get into the grooves.
- Start with the other side
Then turn her hand around, kiss the fronts of her fingers an her palm. Don not rush any of this, take your time with it.
You could even gently bite the fleshy part of her palm, just above her thumb.
- Go to her wrist
Kiss her wrist using quick and short caresses and once more as you gently push down with the tip of your tongue.
If she is like most women, she will start to get very excited, wet and her breathing will get heavy, to match.
- Explore with kissing
Then you can continue to move up to her arm, kissing all of her.
You can even gently bite some areas…
But be gentle and do not leave marks.
Be a Vampire…
Long before the teenage vampire silliness, women always craved attention to other sensitive and sensual areas of their body…
An also highly-ignored area, according to many women, is the neck.
“A guy could get me soaking wet if he would just kiss my neck,” says Jenny, 36. “But they rarely spend more than 5 seconds there. It is not that hard to get this, is it?”
A woman’s neck is more of a hotspot than most of us realize but most of us pass by it quickly, somewhere along the way when we’re moving from her upper lips to her lower ones.
Coming from vampire scenes in movies and books, the neck is seen as a very vulnerable area and often protected, or at least covered up by something, seeing as a very sensual and highly-sensitive area to explore.
“If a guy were to approach me from behind and start kissing my neck, I swear I would melt in 2 seconds flat,” says Shawna, 24.
Here is how it is done…
Start by kissing her lips but no tongue and no saliva yet, just wet your lips enough so it is not dry.
Without going too fast with the lip-kissing, slowly move to her neck, gently grab her hair from behind and use it to gently tilt her head back so her it is exposed. (The hair-grabbing and neck-exposing move may already get her aroused.)
Then, go in for the first bite, or rather taste, without using your teeth.
Start kissing all over her neck, as well as front on both sides. Move around slowly and gently. Cover her entire neck with kisses and a few licks and nibbles here and there.
You can even let your nose and cheeks touch across her neck area as you kiss and nibble.
Do not get too crazy or too rough right away. Let her tell or signal you. Remember that normally women do not want their necks to be marked up at all. So, be gentle unless she tells you to bite harder.
Giving attention to a woman’s neck is more about being sensual than being erotic. For this reason, this often-ignored or quickly passed area can create some serious excitement for her.
You can try Shawna’s favorite move by placing you behind her, grab her hair, tilt her neck and play the gentle vampire for a moment.
You can also take her hair up, kiss the back of her neck and blow on the area immediately after kissing it. The warm air from your mouth hitting the slightly wet area on her neck, left by your kisses, will send shivers down her spine.
You can even improve it by whispering into her ear some erotic words and telling her what you feel but please do not lie, only tell what you really feel.
If that is too much for you to handle in the moment, do not force yourself into doing it or it could go against you. Instead, just whisper into her ear and let her know how great she smells, how much she turns you on, how beautiful she looks, etc.
As touched in the previous paragraph, gently but firmly grabbing her hair can get her excited even before you do anything else.
You are wondering why? Because women have a native desire and a strong reaction of being “taken” by a confident man.
We suspect it may go back to the cavemen days, and according to women themselves, is that they like a man to make her feel desired in the bedroom, especially also dominated if she is stronger or bigger than you, physically or even social status wise.
The popular words and phrases such as “take me,” “ravish me,” and “sweep me off my feet” are all signs pointing to her wanting to feel dominated… while the man takes control.
It goes without saying that being rough has nothing to do with hurting her physically in any way.
But being a little rough, without hurting her or causing pain, is a turn on for most women.
Just be sure to excite her in other ways first. The threshold for pain can increase when she is aroused.
There are lots of other ways to do it… besides the usual domination and biting…
If you feel that you can lift her up easily, you could do it while you kiss her and guide her to wrap her legs around your waist. Then, walk up to the couch or bed where you will continue.
Or, you could stay in the “legs wrapped around you position” and lean her against an empty and safe/smooth wall as you continue kissing and caressing.
Pushing her slowly down from a sitting position, towards the bed, as you kiss her on the lips can be a huge turn on.
If she is laying on her back, you can grab her legs and pull her towards you before caressing her.
A great way to bring more sensation is to switch between being a little rough and then being sensitive and gentle. Switching around like this way will also keep her in expectation, so she won’t expect what is coming next, which is a good situation during sex for women.
Give her butt attention
Women love it when you give her butt attention, especially for women who do not think their butts are sexy.
This is something most men do not think about and it can be a very pleasant surprise.
Holding her but during relationship can be a huge turn on for most women.
Also, when she lays on her on her stomach, start to kiss the back of her neck and slowly move your kisses down her spine till you get to her butt.
You can bite, mass her ass gently and even spank just a little. She may or may not be into it, so talk, insinuate or experiment a bit before doing it.
If she is on top of you, gently grab each of her butt cheeks with each of your hands and pull them apart while she caresses you.
Also give her butt some attention out of bed. Caress and slap it gently and playfully, but only when no one can see it. Done secretly, it is a turn on. But if you do it in public you may just embarrass her or make her feel self-conscious.
If you are in public, brush your palm against her thigh and give her the look that tells her you would much rather be caressing her ass.
Perhaps you may already have an idea of just how serious and sensuous a woman’s feet can be.
Like man, a woman also carries a lot of tension and stress in her feet, especially if she has to stand all day or walk in heels.
So, always a good advice is to give them lots of attention.
Rekha, 24 says:
“A guy can easily turn me on if he knows how to touch my feet”
As you explore your way down her body, starting from her face and lips, do not stop between her legs.
To surprise her, give that area just a little attention, then keep moving lower.
Kiss and lick her inner thighs and especially the back of her knees. Gently bite her calf muscles, as well as her Achilles tendon.
Then, one at a time, give her feet a nice massage.
Start with an overall massage. Then gently squeeze her toes together, massage her Achilles tendon and her heel area.
Dig / push in and slide your thumb prints across the sole of her foot, as if you were squeezing a tube of toothpaste. Be careful not to grab the top of her feet too hard.
As mentioned, the right kind of attention to her feet will turn a woman on.
But, do not just give her feet attention in the intimacy or prior to having sex.
You will make her very happy by doing this outside of the bedroom, especially if you do not appear to be doing it just to excite her.
But if you do not get to enjoy some hot sex after you give her a surprise foot massage, you can be sure that she will remember you in some delightful way the next time that you do have an encounter…
That is the final advice for now… you can surprise her on even when she is out of bed, she will reward you in yummy and juicy ways, for giving her pleasure when you did not really have to.
PS. If you would really like to blow her away with amazement and emotional pleasure, explore some erotic products from our shop.
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